Would you wait for someone to die to make a phone call?
Recently, I received a very personal message, that also
happen to be a personal anecdote, from one of my long-time long-distance
friends that went something like this:
"
Ankit,
Yesterday I traveled 3500 KM up North East of Arunachal Pradesh from the Southern part of India to attend my uncle's funeral.
Dai was 65 and although he went far too soon, I somehow find comfort in knowing that he was doing what he loved most, swimming, before his heart decided to suddenly stop.
Turns out, something bizarre happens when someone you know dies.
For starters, you have to dance with feelings of guilt about all the things you wished you had done differently.
Secondly, you get flooded with memories that you had completely forgotten about up until now, which fills you up with a sense of connection and appreciation.
As my 95 years young Grandmother described her former son-in-law, Dai was a "Big Man". Standing tall at 6ft2, a lover of football, he was a big unit.
My uncle was famous for his relentless can-do attitude, positivity, and his signature smile, which is safe to say was wider than life itself. His voice was deep and his laugh contagious, but what I remember most as a child is how much he loved throwing a good party.
Every time my mother would pack my brother and I in her small car and make the long drive from our hometown in Itanagar to visit her sister and my cousins in Tezu, Dai would find a way to rally the troops, fit us all in the car and take us marching up some mountain to get "some
fresh air".
He was a keen outdoorist.
As a small child, I would always be trailing behind this mountain of a man, and I have a vivid memory of playing football with him. He would often pass the ball to me to make the goal and would lift me up in the air whenever I kicked the ball to the nets. We had so many good memories, enjoying ourselves together.
My three cousins somehow found the strength and courage to stand up in front of a packed funeral home to share a few beautiful and moving words about the impact their dad had on their lives. But also to share the impact their dad had on the lives of so many others.
There wasn't a dry eye in the room.
A few more kind words and stories were shared by friends who all echoed the same message: Dai was a lover of life, a people's person, always eager to help others, and never shied away from turning a challenge into an opportunity.
A testimony of this is how he took on his Alzheimer diagnosis at age 44 as he took on life; grabbing it with both hands and running with it to make the most of what he had, never complaining.
I don't know what the answer is, but I know what the question is:
How can we celebrate those we love and cherish and make sure they know how we really feel about them now before it's too late to do so?
Hearing stories about my uncle inspired me to want to make an effort to let everyone in my life who really matters to me know how much I love them, appreciate them, and how grateful I am to have known them.
Of course, I won't be doing this in one day. I know it's going to take time. But I also know that it starts with one conversation.
It starts with one phone call or just a message.
So the question I have for you Ankit is, who will you call today to let them know how much you care and appreciate them? As if it was the last time you got to say those words to them? Or, would you wait for someone to die to realize how much you value them, and how much they pose an impact on your life?
"
Isn't it thought-provoking? It is for me at least. I don't know about you.
Imagine yourself in a similar situation. Imagine waking up one morning only to find that one of your best friends is no more in this world. You start to question and blame yourself for not making the first move, to break the cold war that was there between the both of you. You regret not calling him/her or even sending a message that could have started a fresh new chapter in your relationship. You are left with so many questions and what-ifs.
But what is the use of repenting now when everything is finished, when the person with whom you spend several good memories is not there anymore?
Wouldn't it have been great if you had wished him on his/her birthday that went recently? Wouldn't have he/she felt good to get wishes from you? Wouldn't it have been great if you packed your ego aside before approaching him/her?
If you had done at least some of it, you wouldn't have been feeling the guilt of not mending the differences between the two of you.
If you had done at least some of it, you would not have blamed yourself for ruining the good relationship you had with your friend.
If you had done at least some of it, your friend might have been alive today to stand beside you and would have made several good memories, laughing together.
Or, Would you wait for someone to die to realize how much you value them? Would you wait for someone to die to make a phone call?
We are so busy in our mortal lives that we seldom give a thought to these questions until it's too late, until we find ourselves in similar situations, and until our ego eats us up making us handicapped by the brain to realize the importance of human relationships in our lives.
I went through the same experience that shook me, made me realize things that really matter in my life, and inspired me to start the "Send a Heart" campaign, under my Muskurahat initiative, which does exactly the same: help you connect with your loved ones with a message, help you bridge the gap in your relationship, and help you to celebrate life with your loved ones.
To you and to your Life.
Until the next time...
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